Friends of Friends are Hot!
Has anybody else ever noticed how many of our parents met their spouses somehow through friends? Whether it was a blind date set up by a mutual friend(s) or an introduction at a cocktail party, I think a majority of the successful marriages of our parents' generation were first formed this way. That begs the question: what's changed?
Here's the interesting part: a whole bunch. Think about those quintessential neighborhood gatherings of the 50s and 60s. Then in the 70s it was disco and the 80s was nightclubs. Doesn't that seem interesting? I wonder just how many successful marriages got their start in a bar. My guess is far fewer than you think.
So what's the allure to friends of friends? Why are these marriages so successful? And why the hell is Ash writing about it?
So here's the deal, a lot of things are solved by friends matching friends, most important is making personalities fit. The old adage "birds of a feather flock together". Mutual friends are likely to have compatible value systems. The other, more often overlooked, is providing feedback channels - everything from "Ohhh, he likes you." to "Dude, she's miffed. You need to call her and smooth things over." Friends help friends stay together.
So what? That's great, but Ash you're not running a dating site.
True, I'm not. However, what's the difference between dating someone and hiring an employee? Oh My God! Sacrilege! (sorry about the double entendre) Well, there's the sex of course, and the dynamics of a boss-employee relationship (I sure hope you don't treat your significant other the way most bosses treat their employees!), but wait a second... It's all about fielding teammates and working toward common goals!
All of the sudden dating does seem a bit like recruiting. Did you know that all of Google's recruiting is done in house? That's right. They do it through referrals... no career fairs, nadda. And they interview the hell out of people. It's almost like a fraternity initiation! I've heard reports of guys going through eighteen or twenty rounds of interviews! Well, if it took you 20 interviews to get the job, you'll think twice about leaving when the going gets rough.
Outside of hiring, where else might business benefit from understanding this approach?
The answer is partnerships! An entrepreneur is a skillful match-maker. He works with very little capital to throw together a number of deals by using other people's money and resources. The lesson is that you should look to friends of your friends for developing strategic partnerships. They're likely to share the same core values as you and your mutual friend will help provide feedback on one another to help keep things running smoothly.
So the lesson here is to 1) improve your dating success by utilizing referrals from your friends (standard sales strategy), and 2) improve your entrepreneurial success by utilizing referrals and introductions from your friends.
Have fun and happy hunting!